The Company You Decide To Keep Around You
Hello all.
“Birds of the same feather flock together” -Anonymous
I am very cautious of the people I choose to surround myself with. The reason I am cautious, is because I am aware of the effect others can have both negative and positive on my own journey of personal development. I happen to know a lot of people. In knowing a lot of people, it is more of a challenge for me to filter people out. I can honestly say at times, I wish I didn’t know so many people, but this is just not my reality. Not every one of these people I consider to be truly helpful for my progress. As a matter of fact, some people are just harmful to what I’m trying to get done. On a money level, they say that the amount of income you will steadily receive in your life, is generally the average income of the 5 people you associate most with. (Assuming you are all set in your career or business).
Don’t Be Afraid to Drop People
In our sincere attempt to make everyone that we know feel “happy.” We tend to keep some people hanging around us much too longer than we actually should. These may be people we know deep down are having a negative impact on our progress. There are people that you can think of right now that are blocking your progression. Yet it’s human nature, to still keep them around, because you feel maybe they will change, or maybe they will go away on their own. It is very hard for us at first to admit that there are some people that are just not helping us, and are actually becoming a hindrance to our growth.
I urge people not to be afraid of letting unhelpful people out of your life. Dropping people you know are a hindrance, is a major relief not only for your progress, but ironically for their progress as well. We can get so attached to people that no longer serve us, because of the fact we are always seeing the good in others. However, knowing when to drop people off at the curb when the time is right is essential to your and their overall growth and progress.
Signs it’s Time to Drop That Person From Your Life
1. You enthusiastically tell this person about your success, and they tell you about their constant complaints on their life.
2. You ask the person for their honest opinion on what you need to improve on in an area in your life, and they can’t say anything constructive.
3. They are constantly flaking on you.
4. They only tell you what they think you want to hear. (Always)
5. They try to use your status, to move up themselves.
Move On
It does take courage to drop people that are slowing your progress down. However, after you do drop these people you will tend to feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. The good news is that by taking part in this very natural experience, you allow for the right people to show up for you. Pretty soon you will attract new people that are better suited for you and that can help you in a more reliable way. Moving on and letting go is key for your continued growth.
It’s Not About Being Mean
Know that this is not about being “mean.” The person you decide to drop, may not be at your level as far as your personal growth. So to label this person as good or bad would be a false statement, and a dangerous label. Instead, just make peace with the idea that the person and you aren’t seeing eye to eye at the moment, and the idea of going in separate directions may be the best move for both of you. If a person isn’t where you are at on a growth level, this just means both of your timing is off. So there is nothing mean or cruel about dropping people that you feel are no longer a match for you at the moment. You do yourself and the other person a great disservice by pretending like you guys are moving in the same direction, when you know deep down it doesn’t feel that way anymore. It’s not about being “mean,” it’s just about being real. Be sincere about what you do, and the good intentions behind what you do, and you will be fine. Choose your company wisely. You become the reflection of the company you decide to keep around you.
+Baker
It’s funny I was reading the top part of this post and it reminded me of a sermon at church yesterday combined with a movie I was watching last night, which were both simple facts that are often overlooked.
Lesson #1:
How often have you made a decision based on the people around you. For example how many opportunities have been missed because you decided to spend time with someone or didn’t do something due to the consideration of another person? And now, how many of those people are in your life now? I personally am a big fan of the thought that one is free to do whatever one wants ( with the constrictions of basic law and such) but is one really? “Dropping friends” as stated by the Baker is sometimes essential to growth. I have made countless bad decisions based on ex-girlfriends/ friends that have wasted valuable opportunity costs as well as monetary assets.
Lesson#2 that this reminded me of:
As Steve Jobs would put it, “A man is defined by the company he keeps”. In the big sociology debate of “nuture vs. nature” it is noteworthy to take into account that the influences of our life play a huge variable to who we are today. I know of people who grew up in the same conditions as I did and are drug dealers and/ or in jail (thankfully I am not), and aside from the living conditions, we had separate friends who have influenced how we are today.
I have noted these two point to reiterate the importance of the baker’s post! For growth to happen there must be the right surroundings. You cannot plant a seed in gravel and hope for it to grow, you need the right soil.
? Rayson
@Rayson Thanks for the feedback and your insightful outlook. The 2 lessons you point out in particular are of great importance and really flow well with the intention of this post. We really do become the reflection of the company we “choose” to keep. I say “choose” because at the end of the day it was the choice we decided to make for ourselves.