I Just Want Everyone Too Like Me! : The Problem With Being TOO Likeable & The Simple Solution
My natural personality is very likeable. As a matter of fact, sometimes too likeable. Growing up the middle child and blessed with a rather plesant personality I guess it was easy for me to play that role of the mediator. People gravitate to the mediator, because the mediator doesn’t really pick “sides.” The mediator likes to keep the peace in a room at all costs. This gradually later developed into it becoming very easy for me to fit in all types of circles. I’ve never had any trouble meeting new people or making new friends. I just have a good time and enjoy when others are having a good time as well. It really is that simple.
Being liked by everyone is not a personality trait that most people from the outside looking in would at first glance think is necessarily a “problem.” But, from my own personal experience what I have found that by being too likeable, I am not really taking a stand on anything. Spreading myself too thin in the past, has tended to cause some issues in my own life. This is the dilemma that people like myself, that are too likeable face with on a regular basis. Our personality is so likeable and easy that it gets taken the wrong way in the form of being taken advantaged of, and sucking dry the seemingly innocent positive vibes. The truth is you can’t be everything to everyone.
As this blog continues to grow and evolve, I find myself wanting to expand in a direction that is consistent with my own personal growth and continued expansion. These new steps I take on may not be the most popular or favored, but I feel the need to continue to move upwards. This new movement upwards feels like the right fit for me. Change is the only constant.
Lately I have been feeling challenged to grow and not allow outside distractions to hinder my growth. This challenge I am dealing with is something that is making me stretch a bit mentally and spiritually.
What I am learning is that you have to experience the contrast of life in order to grow. As I hold onto my own belief systems that are working successfully for me at the moment, this in contrast means that other people’s belief systems will be challenged. Most people with long held limited belief systems about certain life topics, may be shocked that I continue to write about what is real for me with ease and success. One of the keys to my success and overal joy in life, is that I continue to be in alignment with my life’s purpose. So what is the simple solution if you feel you are being way too likeable?
The solution for me is to continue to listen to my own inner guidance. It will serve you very well to always listen to your inner guidance. Your inner guidance will guide you to your very next move successfully. This may or may not make everyone happy. But at the end of the day it really is about being happy with the choices you make for you. This is what it means to be self aware. Without this self awareness of where you are today and where you intend to realistically be in the future, you are just running around in circles trying to jump on other people’s approval of you which then leads to an endless cycle of nowhere.
The only real approval you must value above all others approval of yourself. From this understanding you will find great inner peace and joy. From this place of inner peace and joy you find yourself in a more positive state of mind. For more information on the benefits of positive thinking, please read my recent guest post I did for thelifething.com on The 5 Benefits of Maintaining a Positive Outlook on Life.
When you begin to embrace and approve of yourself first and foremost, the whole concept of trying to have every person like you begins to fade away. Instead, your focus becomes on choices you make for you that are consistent with your highest good. You are confident in the choices you make, because they are aligned with your talents and life’s purpose at the time being.
From this place you automatically find the solution of the issues that may arise from being too likeable such as, being stepped on, being a pushover, or not getting your way. These fade away as you become more self aware of you. Spreading yourself too thin to make everyone happy is impossible. If trying to make everyone happy is making you misreable, its time to get back to yourself and do what feels good for you. You just have to really find out what you want in life and take inspired action towards your desire.
You then free yourself of any unnecessary burden you place on yourself, for trying hard to win others approval. When the approval you have for yourself is more important than the good or bad approval you get from others, that is when you have become self aware. Self awareness takes time and patience for yourself.
It may require that you be a alone for a bit and being in a space where you can just clearly get to the core of what it is you want to be in your life.
From a clearer core place that you operate from, you become the victor and not the victim of every situation you encounter, because you are coming from a clear and strong place within yourself with confidence and certainty.
You are constantly growing, and it is important to always find time to check back in and listen to our inner guidance and propel upwards in our evolution. At the end of the day the only real aproval you should keep at the highest regard is the approval you have overy your own spirit. You are an unlimited being truly capable of being what you desire at the moment you desire it. Honor this truth.
So the solution for being too likeable is to go back inward and make sure that you liking who you are is more important than appearing likeable by everyone else. Get excited about being you.
Lastly, I want to send my honest appreciation and special thanks for all my readers, wherever you are and whenever you have the chance to read my blog. I am truly grateful for each one of you. =)
With Gratitude,
Wonderful post, Baker. I have to say that I sometimes battle with myself, when I get miserable because of me being too pleasing to others. As a child it was pretty smart of me to notice the slight pleasure or annoyance in my parents face that I had gradually developed a way to seek approval from others. Over time, it confused me and I started to go back within, and find who I am at the core. I also have a very extremely likable mother (love her!), that I subconsciously seek to emulate – another battle for me, because I so often confuse between the needs of myself and the others.
Have a beautiful day ahead!
[Baker]´s last [Awesome] ..Toyota Cars for Sale
Hey Shanaz
Yes. I totatly can relate well with your seeking for approval. This comes to me when I’m trying to be too balanced with everything and in that I forget to look out for number 1. But, I remind myself that going back inward and focusing on what matters to me is important at the end of the day. Also, I had a peep at your blog today, I enjoy your unique personality shining through in your writing. Keep it up! =)