3 Simple Steps to Being Happy and Reducing Cognitive Dissonance
Today is a guest post by Alexis Bonari on the topic of how to Be Happy by Reducing Cognitive Dissonance.
3 Simple Steps to Being Happy and Reducing Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance: an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding conflicting ideas simultaneously. In short, it’s the stuff of unhappiness.
The theory of cognitive dissonance is often illustrated by the well-known Aesop fable of The Fox and The Grapes. The fox reaches for grapes; they are beyond his reach. The dissonance here is between the fox’s desire for grapes and his disappointment at his inability to acquire them.
There are two basic ways to reduce the unpleasant feelings stoked by cognitive dissonance: changing one’s attitude or changing one’s actions.
The fox changed his attitude; he decided that the grapes were sour and he didn’t want them, anyway—not the healthiest (or most realistic) of attitudes.
Cognitive Dissonance in Our Daily Lives
Most of us experience some manner of cognitive dissonance on a daily basis:
• We need money, but we don’t want to work.
• We want to lose weight and be healthy, but we eat when we’re stressed.
• We want to be better to the environment, but we can’t seem to stop using paper towels or hair spray.
• We have everything we could ever want—a nice house full of kids and family, a good job, a nice paycheck, and good health—but we’re just not happy.
Reducing Cognitive Dissonance Healthfully
We can choose to do one of two things if we’re truly serious about reducing cognitive dissonance and achieving happiness: change our attitudes or change our actions.
Here’s what the fox could have done (and you can, too):
1. Appreciate what he has—and not just the material stuff.Okay, grapes taste great, but what about those strawberries on the ground or the apples that have dropped from other trees, all well within his reach? And how about his awesome, silky tail that no one can seem to stop complimenting? He has his health, a den full of cubs and friends, two ears with which to enjoy the music of the babbling brook, two eyes to watch the sun rise and set, and one seriously heart-stopping grin. Most of us have things we should be grateful for but we forget about them in our daily goings-on.
Start now by writing in a gratitude journal. Every day, write three different things for which you’re grateful—anything from your new subscription to Netflix to the fact that you felt warm and fuzzy when a stranger held a door open for you.
2.Find joy in everything. Instead of being frustrated with himself, the fox can relish in the fact that he got in a nice workout by jumping for grapes. He could turn around and realize there’s a stunning view of the valley from that hill. He could even invite his friends to turn the setback into a fun-filled challenge in which they build a ladder or stand on each others shoulders.
Start now by making an active attempt to find a glimmer of positivity in everything. Ask your closest friends and family members to monitor your speech and offer occasional friendly reminders that for everything negative you say, you must add something positive. It might feel like elementary school, but negativity has been trained into our minds over the years; we have a lot of re-learning to do.
3. Believe in change. Martin Luther King, Jr. famously said in his acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964, “I refuse to accept despair as the final response to the ambiguities of history.” The fox and we can either be drivers or passengers in life. By experiencing cognitive dissonance, we already know how miserable being a passenger is. We might as well start driving and taking control over our lives.
Start now by not only thinking positively but by being proactive.
• Don’t just wish you had more time—make time by going to bed earlier (skipping out on the couch surfing) and waking up earlier, changing your work schedule, and adjusting your daily habits.
• Break the cycle by doing something utterly out of the ordinary. Even something as simple as running through your house naked singing at the top of your lungs is sure to give you a thrill and change of pace.
• Charity is the thriftiest form of therapy. There’s no boost to the ego like knowing that you made someone else smile. If you don’t have money to donate, donate time by volunteering either in person or online at your local animal shelter, retirement home, or school. Smiles and positivity are contagious. By changing your own life, you’re changing those of others, too. That’s something to be proud of.
Bio: Alexis Bonari is currently a resident blogger at College Scholarships, where recently she’s been researching federal student loans.
Whenever this WAHM gets some free time she enjoys doing yoga, cooking with the freshest organic in-season fare, and practicing the art of coupon clipping.
great post
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Thank you!
Baker