The Mind of an Optimist: How It Works and How You Can Become One, Too
The Mind of an Optimist: How it works and how you can become one, too
Most people largely assume that optimists are better off and research tends to back this belief. A study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research clearly makes the case for an optimistic outlook:
We find strong evidence that optimists outperform their peers in the job market. They search less intensively than their peers, and seem to place less importance on the job search process, but nevertheless receive job offers more quickly. Moreover, they are more likely to be promoted in the first two years after graduation, even though they are no more likely than others to still be employed by the same firm.
Is it possible that a simple, positive outlook can draw such benefits? Think about it. All else being equal, with whom do you want to spend your time? Do you want to hang with someone who largely sees opportunity to succeed or with someone who predicts failure? Would you rather spend your day with someone who complains about problems or with someone who sees solutions? Would you put your trust in someone with a downer attitude or in someone who fundamentally believes that everything will turn out ok in the end? Unless you need a good safety engineer, optimism wins!
A simple mental structure based on NLP
Trainers in Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) have broken down the thought processes of both optimists and pessimists and found some simple and predictable differences. It is easy to understand the structure of optimism using the NLP concepts of association and dissociation. Here is what these terms mean:
Association is when we immerse ourselves into an inner experience. We feel it fully, see it vividly and hear it clearly. When we remember, say, an exciting day at the amusement park, we relive those experiences as if we were present. When we anticipate going to the amusement park in the future, it is easy to get excited because we imagine it, too, as if present.
Dissociation is taking an observer role on our own experience. When we remember events, we see ourselves in those experiences as if from a distance – a detached point of view. This is the difference between of on the roller coaster staring down the drop off in front of you vs. observing the roller coaster move around the track from a distance of 500 feet. We get a much broader and neutral perspective from dissociation.
Both association and dissociation hold immense value. Without being able to associate, the juiciness of life would vanish. If we were unable to dissociate, we’d never gain a larger perspective when we need it.
How does this apply to optimism and pessimism, assuming that life grants both positive and negative experiences to nearly everyone?
From here it is easy. Optimists tend to associate with the positive experiences in life and dissociate from the negative. Pessimists do the opposite! The consistency of this finding has been dramatic over my 20 years experience training NLP. When bad things happen, optimists tend to remember them as a more neutral observer, actually gaining something from this broader perspective and avoiding the negative feelings that may be involved. Pessimists remember unfortunate events as if reliving them, experiencing those feelings all over again. I have financial wealth, abundance, and tremendous success and joy in my life because I’ve trained my mind to be optimistic.
When good things happen, optimists relive those memories and recapture the feelings. Pessimists remember the good things in life, but tend to do so from a dissociated point of view and therefore lose touch with those wonderful feelings of success and good fortune.
Most interesting of all, pessimists on the whole do not have more bad experiences in life than optimists. Many optimists have been through the ringer. The entire key to optimism and pessimism – on the psychological side – is how you structure your thoughts.
Explore your Optimism and Pessimism with these five steps.
1. Write down three positive memories and three (mildly) negative memories.
2. See if you can notice your pattern. Do you fit that of an optimist or a pessimist?
3. Ask yourself if you would like to change your point of view. Do you fit the pessimist structure and want to work on optimism?
4. Do it! Associate – relive – the positive memories and take a mental step back from the negative ones so that you see the big picture. It is that simple!
5. Monitor yourself as you move through life enjoying your share of both good and bad luck!
Making the shift from an pessimistic structure to an optimistic one is simple, yes. But it can also involve deeper issues and may require some assistance. Not to worry. The transformation has been made by many and you are no exception.
Mike Bundrant conducts online NLP training at the iNLP Center.Visit iNLP for a free mini-course.
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